Inspiration out the door

I was on my way home tonight from hanging out with a good friend and I had such a good feeling fuel through me. An epiphany I guess you could say, about all i want to do and how i want to live my life. Music and art and care free. I want to be able to sit on the beach and jam or write. I want to fuel my passion through the earth and the beauty that surrounds us and the world that we often times forget to stop and look at.

The rain washes away the dirt and the sun dries up the rain, our world has a way of cleaning itself and all we tend to do is clutter and make it ugly as beautiful as it is. I have always had passion inside me, I just never know where to look to see what I should do with that passion. I try writing but I can never collect my thoughts. I have so many things that I want to do in my life. Europe on no money, work my way from city to city. I would love to do that! soooo why don't I. Why don't I pick up and experience life, the world the environment around me.

I only have one thing that comes to mind. I want to experience all of that with someone. I dont want to have the stories and no memories to share, no secret love for what weve experienced. I think that is why I want to bring friends from here with me to portugal, so I can explore with them, to show them, teach them something and have them teach me. That is why my relationship with Joel(aka the brazilian) was so special to me. We saw things, we taught each other things, we made love, I havent felt loved by a man the way he made me feel. Passion. It fuels so many things, passion for life. I have passion for life and living and I cant keep sitting on my ass and in a concrete building. I need to get out there.

I am tired of seeing the concrete, the pollution, the destruction. I know there is beauty still surviving. Beauty in people, in the earth. I'm prolly on a hippie kick but I just want to experience life, we were given this once change to feel things and experience things and people are so scared...scared shitless of being nothing, of not leaving their mark. We all leave a mark, it just depends of if youve left a good mark or one thats going to help with the destruction of this beautiful life we have been given. Who knows how it was given, who knows why? Who cares? We are here and we need to make the most of it. We werent made to sit in boxes looking at a screen all day.

We werent given these amazing brains, the ability to create if we weren't suppose to be using them to create things to make this world better. We are all born and we will all die. Its this precious time the 80 years, maybe, that we are here to show and do something to keep this amazing planet alive. It's really amazing. And we don't notice it enough.